It should be said that these rankings and reviews are on a scale of “this is just the worst thing ever” to “wow, that was surprisingly not bad for a Hallmark movie”. So just keep that in mind when I tell you what I think of these Christmas Hallmark movies. The acting is subpar. The graphics are ok. I don’t expect much while watching these and neither should you, but they are totally my guilty pleasure. Here we go!
12 Dates of Christmas: I’ll kick it off with a semi good one! This girl gets spritzed in the face with perfume by a lady in the mall (WHO AIMS FOR THE FACE????) and passes out. When she wakes up she’s reliving the same day (Christmas Eve) over and over again. The whole plot is about her trying to get her ex-boyfriend back and completely dismissing a new guy she’s never met. Classic. The acting: actually not that bad…because Zach from Save by the Bell is in it, so nostalgia. 5/5 stars.
Naughty & Nice: The lesser Duff sister is a radio DJ and a classic bad boy DJ (aren’t they all just bad boys) comes to town because he needs to fix his reputation?? I don’t remember…I didn’t watch this one very well. Anyways, they fall in love because Hallmark and then there is an issue and then they resolve it. Again…I didn’t watch this one that closely. 2/5 stars…would’ve 3/5 if it was Hilary and not Haylie Duff.
Merry Kissmas: Nice girl is engaged to a jerk of a choreographer. Then she’s running away from a persistent old lady and goes into an elevator where she says, “HELP ME!” to a guy in the elevator which immediately means “KISS ME!” and they start kissing which confuses the lady and she leaves? If you’re confused, you’re not alone. What kind of plot line is that? Anyways, it revolves around mistletoe in the elevator. You know what they say….what goes on in the elevator, stays in the elevator??? Does anyone say that? 3/5 stars because it took the girl entirely too long to break it off with her fiancé and she was emotionally cheating on him with elevator guy. Not cool.
Merry Kissmas 2 (alternate title: A Christmas Kiss II): I know, there’s a second one. Again revolving around kissing in the elevator. Assistant girl kisses some stranger in an elevator because what’s more romantic than that. Then finds out he’s like a resident bad boy brother to her boss..where her boss cares about her assistant more than her bad boy brother. Anyways…there was no plot line except that everyone thinks he’s a bad boy and he turns out to not be all that bad. 3/5 stars.
A Nanny for Christmas: Rich family gets a nanny except the girl interviewing thought she was interviewing for a marketing position….sike! Turns out she’s a nanny, and not a very disciplined one because she’s never nannied before. Then she falls in love and lies to him about said nanny job. That’s it. 2/5 because the kids get a puppy for Christmas at the end. Yes, I just ruined the movie for you.
A Cinderella Christmas: Wow if the acting in this movie wasn’t the best I’ve ever seen. Basically the story of Cinderella but at Christmastime. 1/5 stars because the main girl’s voice annoyed me so much.
The Spirit of Christmas: Ok. For a Hallmark Christmas movie, this actually wasn’t terrible. The plot line strayed from the usual Hallmark plot lines and I kinda liked it? He’s a ghost but comes back to his house for Christmas every year and this girl is trying to help him move to the beyond, but instead they fall in love. I’m gonna admit, I was rooting for them the entire time. 5/5 stars.
My Santa: Santa’s son needs to find a wife by Christmas otherwise……..I don’t know? Was there a consequence? I don’t remember. Anyway, single mom hates Christmas because it brings back bad memories. Well, Santa’s son (also known as Shawn Hunter’s brother from Boy Meets World) does all this magic throughout the movie and then she believes again and they fall in love. 2/5 stars because single mom’s son’s acting was atrocious. And that’s putting it nicely.
Christmas Belle: Girl named Isabella, but Belle for short, likes books. Sound familiar?? Goes to a house to catalog his library and falls in love with the library and the owner is super grumpy. And she can’t go to the rose atrium because that’s his special place. And the dog is named Beast. Anyone with me on this? Casey actually heard me laugh out loud on how bad lesser Duff’s acting was in this one. 1/5 stars.
Christmas in the Smokies: Girl is trying to salvage her parent’s farm in the Smoky Mountains because it’s going bankrupt. Her famous country singer ex-boyfriend comes back to town and she’s all upset with him because one time in high school he promised her he’d be home for Christmas and he never came. So she’s angry about that and gives him a hard time…even though she’s like in her 30s but #neverforget. He ends up helping her save the farm. 3/5 ONLY because they didn’t end up engaged or even dating in the end and I respect that. They just were friends again at the end.
A Christmas Prince: Girl reporter goes undercover as a tutor trying to get the scoop on a prince that has a bad rep. The prince’s sister (who she’s tutoring) finds out about her being a reporter and says it’s ok as long as she write the truth about her brother. Reporter girl falls in love with the prince….because he’s actually nice. And then it just goes from there. This one had me on the edge of my seat. So bad. But so good. 5/5 stars. There’s like a whole Buzzfeed article on why we love/hate this movie.
Christmas Kiss: Now this one does not occur in the elevator……wait yes, it does…….and I’m just now realizing that A Christmas Kiss II was the sequel to this one….not Merry Kissmas. Whatever. Same plot line. Girl kisses guy in the elevator in a mask because why not. She soon finds out it’s her awful boss’ boyfriend but he doesn’t know it was her that he kissed (because she was wearing a mask that only cover 1/10 of her face). Anyways, they fall in love but the boss is just the worst! 3/5 stars because it took him too long to break up with the boss. Ugh. She really was the worst.
A Holiday Engagement: This girl hires a guy to act as her boyfriend while she visits her family for the holidays because her boyfriend breaks up with her and she doesn’t want all the questions? Lol. Just tell your family. Anyways, they fall in love because duh. That’s it. 1/5 stars.
Holiday Breakup: Watched the first 5 minutes and couldn’t get through it. That’s how bad it was. -5/5 stars.
Okay, I’m not going to lie…I didn’t realize how many of these I had watched until right this moment and I’m a little bit ashamed of it, but not enough to not post this on the blog. So whatever. I watch them when I work out, whatever works, am I right???